Refraction
by terriku
Summary: Light, like all things, bends.
1. light

**one.**

Light is a curious thing. When she was young, she had this image that light only traveled in a straight line. Light traveled so truly that it filled the entire world easily. She was transfixed by the glinting of metal, the shine of crystal, and the reflection of glass. Light. Demacia was light. She'd learned that in the academy. Demacia was the strong, unwavering beacon of light and Demacia's purpose was to cleanse the world of injustice. The thing was, the more Luxanna learned about light, the more she realized her beliefs were wrong. Light bends, light breaks, much like everything else in the world.

The darkness swims around her and she waits for the call. It comes soon after, like a ray of light breaking the night mist and she rises. When Lux opens her eyes it is to a verdant field. She sees crystals, towers of stone and arcane magic, and beyond the walls she sees the jungle. Three lanes stretch onwards, and somewhere past them is a mirror image of what she sees laid in front of her here.

Light fills her vision, the voice in her head whispers, and she knows what she must do. This is the League, and she is a Damacian. She has a duty and she has come to fulfill it.

_Victory for our allies, defeat for our enemies, and justice for all._

_Victory for our allies, defeat for our enemies, and justice for all._

_Victory for our allies, defeat for our enemies, and justice for all._


	2. siblings

**two.**

Everyone assumes that since she is Garen's sister, she must know him the best. They assume that by connection of blood alone, that Lux knows what her brother is thinking, what her brother is feeling. In the past week, three women have already come to her to query answers to their questions. She smiles, politely turns them away saying she is tired.

But the truth is Lux cannot remember the last time she talked to her brother for more than five minutes. They exchange pleasantries as expected. Sometimes they fought together in the Fields. Sometimes they fought against each other in the Fields. Rarely did they exchange words after that. Her brother was always gone afterwards, and on the rare occasions that he had time for a leisurely talk, it was she who had to leave. Even at her Judgment, he did not speak to her. She had searched for it at the time, but surely the man that stared back at her had no emotion in his eyes. Lux had searching for her brother, for the brother she knew with rough hands and messy hair and a quiet smile, but she could not find him. Above her, she saw only the familiar silhouette of the Might of Demacia.

Who was Garen beyond the Might of Demacia? It was a question she asked herself too. And it was one that Lux found she, alarmingly, could not answer.


	3. what duty makes of us

**three.**

The first time she meets Jarvan Lightshield IV, Exemplar and Crown Prince of Demacia, she is six. He wasn't the Exemplar then, just as her brother wasn't the Might of Demacia. It was one of the few times that her elder brother was home, and on his short break they'd decided to go to a parade. A military parade to celebrate some victory of the Noxians, she can't even remember the details anymore but the absurdity of the thought sticks to her. A military parade. She saw her brother once in a blue moon since he was always occupied with military matters and on the one day they have together they go to a military parade. It was foolish, why didn't they do something else?

She hadn't thought that at the time. What did it matter where they went? Just being able to see her brother in the flesh was good enough. She did not care, as her parents did, for honor or accolades. Even if her brother were just another mediocre soldier serving out his compulsorily service, Luxanna would not have loved him any less. That her brother was a capable and talented warrior only made her swell with pride. Garen Crownsguard, best of his class, conscripted with high honors, was her brother. Nothing could change that.

The parade was a pompous affair. People filled the streets and music filled the air. Every where she looked, the bright standard of Demacia hung proudly. They pushed forward through the crowds. There was something Garen wanted to see, and she followed. "Look Luxanna," Garen said as he pointed to the man standing at the podium, "that's the Crown Prince." He hadn't said, _"Look Luxanna, there's Jarvan."_ It should have stuck her as odd since Garen had known Jarvan since they were toddlers, they'd been classmates at the Academy and by all accounts, close friends.

But instead, she followed his pointed finger and her eyes came to rest on a tall man. He could not have been that much older than Garen yet he looked so much older. The man wore a suit of amour, and even though he wore it with the rigid pride of a Demacian prince, it seemed too big for him. The shoulder guards and metal helm dwarfed him until there was nothing left but the gleam of cold gold. When the prince raised his hand, he was greeted by the thunderous roar of the people around them. But there seemed to be an emptiness to the motion that she couldn't quite place her finger on.

Luxanna tightened her grip on Garen's hand. _Never that_, she thought, _please never let my brother become like that._

She hadn't said, _please never let me become like that, _and looking back perhaps that was where the problem started.


	4. death and defeat

**four**.

She doesn't hesitate. She should. She really should, because this man is her crown prince and surely this is treason in five different ways, but Lux does not hesitate. _Singularity, Binding, Final Spark._ It's a perfect combo in every way. (Admittedly, she should have tossed a barrier out there for Katarina, but she was sure the assassin would overlook her 'mistake'.) Each of her spells hits just as intended, just as she knows they will, but the man in gold is still standing.

The flag barely grazes her when it lands a little off-mark. The lance strike doesn't. Neither does his next swing. She runs, and this time she remembers to cast her barrier, but it's not good enough. The tip of the lance brushes against her arm, tearing through the shear material and barely grazing her arm. She tosses a singularity behind her, hopes that the damage will scare him off her tail, or at the very least that the slow radius will buy her enough time to get away. When she turns around to toss a binding behind, she finds that he is not there anymore. Before Lux can find him though, there is a crash and walls of earth rise, leaving her with no escape. Jarvan's lance hits its mark, driving deep into her abdomen. Lux grits her teeth. _Escape_, she thinks, but there is no where to go. Dark spots flash in the corners of her eye, but she's still conscious enough to toss another ball of light at him. It isn't enough, or perhaps he is too strong to be fazed by her magic. He pulls the lance from her, and thrusts it between her ribs. This time, she knows it's over.

The last thing Lux sees before she dies is the blue and yellow standard of Demacia wavering proudly in the wind as if taunting her**.**

* * *

** nightfayte  
**

Thank you! If you do get back into LoL, send me a PM and we can play a game together or something!**  
**


	5. duty, reprise

**five**.

Here is a memory from a life Lux has wanted to leave behind.

She is thirteen.

The thick swamp air is suffocating. All around her the murk and the mud mix together and the oppressing taint of magic is so heavy in the air that Luxanna cannot even determine its origins. But she knows that it is ancient. The magic is cloying, the way it clings to her skin and feels like a dark film she cannot remove scares her. _No_, she thinks, drawing a deep breath, _I am a Demacian. I know no fear._

She moves forward. Her steps send ripples running through the swamp. The fog swirls around her, like the magic, like the darkness. _I am a Demacian. I know no fear._ The grass grows to her waist, and parts around her like a swaying sea. There is a stillness to the swamp that scares her. But it is close. It is so close, she can almost feel it. And then, she sees it. The flicker of flames, the sound of people, the smell of home. She is more careful now. The swamp around her is quiet and she is hidden in a sea of grass, but she must be careful. She cannot afford to fail now.

The village rises out of the swamp in such a way that she is almost inclined to believe it exists in a separate dimension. As she gets closer, she realizes that there is a strong magic here. It is not the same magic as that in the swamp, this magic felt warm. She could not explain it. The warmth seemed to embrace her and it pried the fog from her skin. Standing in the shadows, she knew that this was her target. This was the object she had been briefed upon. She needed to destroy this place. She doesn't know why, but she assumes that it is the magic. The magic pouring forth here pushes the dark magic hanging over the swamp away. She walks closer, closer. If she can set down her own magics and tools at the side of the village it will be enough to blow it all away. She pulls the light around her, bending it to her will. It is not a perfect invisibility, at close range anyone would be able to tell something was wrong, but from a distance it was enough to cloak her. Luxanna sets about completing her mission.

Something bumps into her. She looks down. The child stares up at her with wide eyes and an open mouth. _No_, she thinks. _No don't speak_. But before she says anything, her hand is already over the child's mouth, the other, at the throat. The child wants to say something, it's lips move against her hand but Lux's hand squeezes the throat and no sound comes out. Her heart thunders in her throat. Failure is so close, she feels it closing in like the cold mist at her calves. _I cannot be revealed. Do not make a sound._ But the child does not speak anymore, staggering against her body all limp and lifeless. Luxanna sets it down gently and upon a closer look realizes the child is a girl. She cannot be more than six.

She puts the finishing touches on the contraption she had painstakingly built from memory and then slipped back into the grasses. Three minutes pass in agonizing silence. There is a blinding burst of light, and then. And then there was no more. The darkness fell around her again, and in amidst the fog of the swamp, swirling with darkness and magic and taint, she heard a voice. It was the voice of a small child. She shuddered and put her hands on her arms before forcing them back to her side.

_I am a Demacian. I know no fear._

* * *

Ah, this chapter went somewhere else... /stares into the distance**  
**

**nightfayte** Thank you for the kind words! I'm also not very good at LoL and am trying to learn. Even though I play Lux a lot, I'm still not good with her. （ ´,_ゝ`) Send me a PM with your summoner's name and I'll add you so we can find time to play!_  
_

**Kaiser Spartan** Thank you for the support! I think Lux's scenario is very interesting, though it might be a divergence from what is considered canon. I wanted to explore Lux and how her upbringing has affected her so I'm glad that side carried through!


	6. third time's the charm

**six**.

Jarvan never misses. Lux bites back a curse as her binding misses him by a hair's width. He charges, he strikes, and he never misses. She recalls the narrow misses, the segmented blades scratching at the surface of her skin, and knows now that he is looking down on her. The truth is that Jarvan has been going easy on her. She doesn't understand why, but it makes her blood boil. She wants to scream that she was top of her class and that she, like her brother, was a genius rarely seen in the world. Her achievements sit on the tip of her tongue, ready to be rattled off like a mantra. But those words have no value as they are forced back by brunt force. Lux is thrown across the field, and she spits and swallows blood. The end is upon her, and she feels the familiar embrace of darkness as her conscience flees.

Later he comes to find her. She has no wounds, the magic of the summoners had seen to that, but Lux still feels the sting of humiliation and defeat. Defeat, failure. The words were bitter in her mouth and they lodged themselves in her throat like unswallowable pride. The footsteps ring against the hollow walls of the League, and the vaguely familiar and voice calls out for her.

"You must be Garen's sister, Luxanna."

"Only my brother calls me that."

She turns on her heel, but if her rudeness surprises him, he makes no sign. Lux bows. "Your majesty." She amends, voice as cold and sweet as any other lady of the court, as she walks out of the room. Jarvan will forgive her momentary lapse of manners. If her mother were here, she would have been scolded, punished and forced to apologize. But her mother is not here and Lux does not feel like apologizing.

This is the second time she has been felled by his blade. There will be no third time.

* * *

**dragonFELL** Thank you for the compliment! : )


	7. supporting

**seven**.

The funny thing is that even though they're both Champions, and even though they both fight in the same League, and even though they do the same things, Lux sees less of her brother than ever before. Garen sees less of Lux too. Sometimes she wonders if he even sees her at all. Like for instance, today. They had been summoned to the field at the same time on the same side. They had gone the entire time without a single word. But then, thirty minutes in he comes to find her. Despite her best efforts, Lux cannot keep her heart from rising when he approaches her.

"Luxanna, you need to support Katarina."

Her heart falls almost the moment Garen's words leave his mouth. Thirty minutes. Thirty minutes in and the first and only thing he has to say is related to the red-haired Noxian wonder who had usurped her preferred position. She almost throws her wand at his face.

"Just for once," her voice is shaky with suppressed anger, "just for once I would like for us to have nice conversation that doesn't include Katarina, who might I remind you, is a Noxian assassin."

"Lux, we don't have time to talk of such things. Concentrate on the task at hand, you need to do your part and support Katarina."

She wants to scream, _"She's the enemy! I shouldn't be supporting her, I should be strangling her!"_ but she doesn't. Lux bites it back and instead nods, smiles, and walks away from her brother. She does throw a few shields out for Katarina, even tosses a stun at Diana, but at the same time Lux feels a sort of perverse satisfaction when Talon's blade sinks into Katarina's chest.

* * *

Today I played against a fed Kat and it was not fun.

** Blueberry Absinth** Thank you! /graciously accepts the cookies

** InsanexAngel** Noted, and thanks.


	8. substitutes

**eight**. substitutes

When she returns to her room, she slams the door with a fury unmatched. She throws her wand down, strips herself of her armor, and slumps face-first into her bed. She fists the pillow and stays there for a very, very long time. Jealousy is a petty emotion. She repeats this to herself over and over and over again. She is Luxanna, daughter of the noble house of Crownguard. She is Lux, the Lady of Luminosity. She is a paragon of Demacian values. She is everything they have molded her to be, and nothing else. Her lady mother did not teach her jealousy. Her teachers and commanders did not teach her jealousy. Lux lies there for a long, long time wondering where such a dirty emotion came from.

She hears the footsteps, the familiar chink of armor, the swish of cloth. She imagines her brother's gentle knock, followed by a pat on the head and the forgiveness she seeks. She imagines, not the Might of Demacia, but her brother at age four and ten, sitting on the side of her bed reading her stories. Even though Lux wants to hate him, she knows that if Garen walks through that door, she will forgive him simply for being there.

But when she opens the door, it is not her brother. Her heart plummets in disappointment.

"Lux."

She scowls. "My name is Luxanna."

"But only your brother calls you that." The amusement is heavy in his voice, but his mouth shows only the slightest upward turn. He's smirking though. It's so subtle anyone would miss it, but she would swear on her life that he's smirking.

"Is there something you need, your majesty?."

"I was wondering if you would like to talk to someone else who ends up in the center lane a lot. It's a more aggressive situation and you'll be on your own, but you might like it more than support."

Even though Jarvan is being perfectly polite, the hint of insinuation makes her wonder if he has heard of today's incident. Or maybe the incident from the day before that. It is vexing to think that her own inadequacies have reached the ears of her sovereign. It is even more vexing to think that her brother had complained to said sovereign. What vexed her most, and it was equally vexing that she was most bothered by this, was that Garen had sent Jarvan to check up on her as one would dispatch a maid. It was the reason she could think of that would explain the Exemplar's presence in her doorway. Her brother was too 'busy' to come himself. Her disappointment and anger cut straight through any manners she possessed.

"My brother sent you didn't he? Why didn't he come himself?"

He had the discretion to say, "He is preoccupied with other matters."

_Yes_, she thinks. _Preoccupied with a certain red-haired Noxian assassin._ Lux thinks about blowing Katarina up. She thinks about facing off with Katarina one on one. She thinks about crushing Katarina without any help and that makes the choice much, much easier.

"Yes," she says as she stands up, "I think I would like that."

* * *

A little late, but a direct follow-up from the last chapter. At first I was just going to end it when Jarvan makes a quip using Lux's previous words but then I thought to myself, "If I keep avoiding writing interaction I will never be able to build this ship...". The truth is I'm scared because I am bad at writing Jarvan. /m\

**Blueberry** Teehee, I'm actually not sure if Lux and Garen have this relationship in Lore since they always seemed closer but I'm just running with it!

**Christine** Thank you!

**Guest** I will do my best!


	9. united and divided

**nine**.

Lux was not afraid of being alone. In her many self-evaluations she had often stated that she believed she worked best when alone. Obviously the Demacian brass thought the same, as Lux could not remember the last time she was assigned a partner. There simply wasn't the need for anyone else.

"Ah, and there is the source of your trouble. Even if you can beat one of your opponents, you cannot hope to bring down all five of them by yourself."

She turned her head. She knew he was right. Even in the luckiest of circumstances she did not have the strength to bring down all five members of the opposite team. Lux might have outside the Rift, but inside, she was constrained by the limits of her summoner and the rules. It vexed her to no end that she was not able to unleash her full potential. Galio raised his great stone hand to his chin, unsure if he had offended or hurt the girl.

"You must provide light to your teammates." He said, in an offering of peace.

"That was a bad joke."

"Alas, the intricacies of human humor still escape me."

Her expression, previously stern, melts into mirth. She raises a hand to her mouth and Galio feels relief. In his experience, humans, especially girls, are prone to swings of mood that he can never understand.

"No," Lux apologizes, "I'm sorry. I was just thinking that there are certain constraints that the League places on me. I am unable to do things I know myself capable of doing."

"Yes, as is the case with all of us."

The look that crosses Lux's face is brief, but it seems something like shock. He does not dwell on it as it disappears as fast as it appeared. She smiles.

"Is that so?"

"Yes. Maybe it would be best if you talked to your summoner. It is hard to welcome someone into your mind, but if the summoner cannot understand you, then you will continue to clash. Perhaps that is part of the reason."

"I think I will. Thank you for your help Galio."

She stood up and bowed her head in acknowledgement. And though the smile on her face was as bright as the sun, Galio could not help but think that the air around her was as cold of the steel of her greaves. As she walked away, the hem of her skirt kissing the top of her knees, something crossed his mind.

"Lux, we all come to the League seeking something. What is it that you are seeking?"

She looked over her shoulder at him for a second, but Galio could not decipher the look in her eyes.

* * *

Thanks for the comments everyone! I'm actually not that familiar with Galio, so I'm not sure if he'd actually be willing to help someone just because someone else asked him to but...details...

** Blueberry** Yeah, I think Lux def. has some inferiority issues which is why the story is as it is. Both like, not good enough for her brother, and also living in the shadow of his reputation.

** dragonFELL** I got the darker edge from her League judgement too. It's very boring and one-dimensional for her to be Garen's bright cheerful and talented younger sister imho.

** Guest #2** Thank you, you don't know how much of a compliment that is to me!

** Eyse** I have and thank you. : )

** Daniela** ffhjfskd thank you! I'm glad you like how I wrote Jarvan because I wrote Jarvan how I like Jarvan... that is, a man who keenly feels the responsibility he has, kind of resents it, but is honorable enough to shoulder it anyways. and yes, join this one person ship with me /whisperss

Sooner or later these replies are going to get longer than the actual chapters lol, thanks for your continued support everyone.


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